Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Us, Runners.

A couple of weeks ago we focused on “what non-runners think” about us.  This week, we’ll turn the tables and enlighten the non-runners on “what runners think”.
We get this a lot.  When we talk to our non-running friends about how we spend hours on weekends going in circles in Central Park, we are inevitably asked, “So when you run, what are you thinking about?”  Well, kids.  It depends.  Before we begin to dig deep into the psyche of a runner, let’s first define some of the typical runners we see.
Level 1 Runner
A level 1 runner is somebody that runs for fun.  It might be to feel good, lose a few pounds, maybe have a chat with a more experienced runner friend.  Level 1 runner will have your typical Nike running shoes that look cute, wear Lulu-Lemon tanks for girls and perhaps an Under Armour for guys, and probably an arm band with an iPod/iPhone.  Running is something you do when the weather is perfect 65F, sunny, with low humidity.  A race is definitely not something they will do – but they are happy to cheer those that do!
Level 20 Runner
With a few shorter distance races under their belts, Level 20 Runner is more experienced.  They’ve moved on to more serious running shoes, like Mizuno, Asics, New Balance, and probably experienced enough chaffing to start seriously consider getting seamless bras for girls, nip guards for men.  Not really into marathons, but half marathons might be something in the near future.  Arm bands have gone out the window, but maybe a few days with tunes off the ipod Mini will be good.
Level 50 Runner
We’ve entered the level of competitive runner.  This guy/gal would belong to some form of speedwork class, and have collected enough metal alloys called race medals that they’ve gotten a separate bin just for all the hardware.  They have a niche that they like to race in – either a short distance specialist with great 10K legs, experienced sub 1:30 half marathons, few good marathons, and maybe even into ultra distances.  They wear compression gear and fancy material tops.  
Level: Insane
Now these guys are the insane ones.  They are weird, no matter how you look at them.  Running barefoot on asphalt.  Topless in winter.  Shorts in blizzards.  They’ve gone off the deep end of running and there is no turning back. 

Obviously, there are many shades of runners between each of these levels but this should give a non-runner an idea about how not all runners are the same.  So what do these guys all think about when running?
Level 1 Runner:  O man, I can’t believe my boss just screwed me over like that.  What the hell?  Oooo here comes the tune that I like!  This song really gets me going!  Oh, hey, that reminds me, I should probably call my friend and see if they want to go for a drink later.  I’m burning so much calories, I’m sure I can enjoy a cocktail or two safely!  (smile!)  Go Team!
Level 20 Runner:  How can I get faster?  How is my cadence?  How is my form?  I want to be a better runner.  This hill sucks.  Why is that chick running faster than me?  Why is this dude stomping so loud?  I can’t believe that chick just beat me in the race last week.  What am I going to eat for dinner?  Should I eat more carbs? 
Level 50 Runner:  OMG, my calf hurts again.  WTF.  I thought I took it easy last week.  I only did 50 miles!  That’s 20 miles less than the previous week.  Crap.  Am I going to PR at this rate?  I really need a PR.  OOOOO here comes the hills.  Don’t slow down, don’t slow down, don’t slow down!!  God, this pack or Level 1s are sooooooo in the way!  I’m so going to pass that fat dude.  Turbo-sprint cadence in three-two-one!!!!
Level:  Insane:  ... -.-. --- - - / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / .- / -... .-.. --- --- -.. -.-- / .. -.. .. --- - / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- -. - .. -.-. ... / --- -. / - .... . / -- .-.. --- -.-. / .-- . -... ... .. - . / .- .-. . / .- .--. .--. .-. . -.-. .. .- - . -.. / -... -.-- / .- .-.. .-.. / .- -. -.. / .. / - .- -.- . / - .... .. ... / --- .--. .--. --- .-. - ..- -. .. - -.-- / - --- / .-- .. ... .... / -.-- --- ..- / .- / .... .- .--. .--. -.-- / -.-. .... .-. .. ... - -- .- ... .-.-.- / -.- .. –

There you have it.  We’re not that interesting.

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